[{"TitleName":"Don't Buy This","Publisher":"Firebird Software Ltd","Author":"","YearOfRelease":"1985","ZxDbId":"0011245","Reviews":[{"Issue":{"Name":"Crash Issue 17, Jun 1985","Price":"£0.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-05-30","Editor":"Roger Kean","TotalPages":132,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"Editor: Roger Kean\r\nAssistant Editor: Graeme Kidd\r\nTechnical Editor: Franco Frey\r\nArt Editor: Oliver Frey\r\nProduction Designer: David Western\r\nSoftware Editor: Jeremy Spencer\r\nAdventure Editor: Derek Brewster\r\nStrategy Reviewer: Angus Ryall\r\nStaff Writer: Lloyd Mangram\r\nContributing Writers: Matthew Uffindel, Chris Passey, Robin Candy, Ben Stone, John Minson\r\nClient Liaison: John Edwards\r\nSubscription Manager: Denise Roberts\r\nMail Order: Carol Kinsey\r\n\r\n©1985 Newsfield Limited.\r\nCrash Magazine is published monthly by Newsfield Ltd. [redacted]\r\n\r\nSubscriptions [redacted]\r\nEditorial/studio [redacted]\r\nAdvertising [redacted]\r\nHot Line [redacted]\r\n\r\nColour origination by Scan Studios, [redacted]; Printed in England by Carlisle Web Offset Ltd (Member of the BPCC Group), [redacted].\r\nDistribution by COMAG, [redacted]\r\n\r\nCirculation Manager: Tom Hamilton\r\nAll circulation enquiries should ring [redacted]\r\n\r\nSubscriptions: 12 issues £14.50 post included (UK Mainland); Europe: 12 issues £21.50 post included. Outside Europe by arrangement in writing.\r\n\r\nNo material may be reproduced whole or in part without written consent of the copyright holders. We cannot undertake to return any written material sent to CRASH Magazine unless accompanied by a suitably stamped addressed envelope. Unsolicited written or photo material which may be used in the magazine is paid for at our current rates. The opinions and views of correspondents are their own and not necessarily in accord with those of the publishers.\r\n\r\nMICRONET:\r\nYou can talk to CRASH via Micronet. Our MBX is 105845851\r\n\r\nCover by Oliver Frey"},"MainText":"Producer: Firebird\r\nMemory Required: 16/48K\r\nRetail Price: £2.50 - it's a steal!\r\nLanguage: Megabasic (it's a very good basic though)\r\nAuthor: Anon\r\n\r\nRACE ACE\r\n\r\nRace Ace is a very straightforward racing game, in fact its simplicity is one of its strongest features because you can get stuck in straight away. The player steers one of nine little cars round a fixed track, the others being controlled by the computer. Any one of 250 speeds can be selected for a race of four or more laps. At first I thought the game a little limiting because it only has one track until I realised that by using the simple trick of going backwards a completely new race could be run - unfortunately the other cars persisted in going the wrong way. The graphics are very simple but this is necessary in order to follow the fast action that the game provides. A particularly admirable feature is that no matter what happens to the player's car, like colliding with another car, or with the kerb, or indeed with anything, it suffers no damage. This means that since your car can't be damaged you won't have to keep going back to the start as other race games tend to insist you do. Once your car pulls out into the lead then the race is over: this neatly avoids the tedium you encounter in games like Full Throttle of having to stay ahead once you are.\r\n\r\nFIDO\r\n\r\nThis same requires the player to position the dog, Fido, so that when he sits down and wags his tail he batters little moles to death. The moles keep popping up at the bottom of the screen. This may sound easy to do but you must be careful not to exhaust the little pooch, his energy decreases as he moves across the screen so you must guide him to his feed bowl to boost his energy. The game gets harder still when you consider the action of the birds, they just fly across the screen but because Fido is larger when seated than when standing the birds can crash into his head and kill him. To avoid this awful end Fido can duck (another sort of bird), you do this by making him stand up. To make the game harder still the program seems to have been written so that every now and then Fido dies for absolutely no apparent reason - very realistic.\r\n\r\nWEASEL WILLY\r\n\r\nThis has simply got to be the best version of Weasel Willy available. The object of the game is to guide what looks like a bear round the screen without touching the trees, which are cunningly placed at random. Should you collide with any object then a superb message comes up saying 'YOU'VE BLOWN IT' and you lose a life. If you manage to steer the bear round the park then just when you least expect i tthe screen will re-draw with more trees all in different places. You continue in this way until you have exhausted all of your lives, which is inevitable because nobody is that good. The program has some neat touches, two in fact. The first is a league table and the second lets the player re-define the keys, this feature is cleverly offered every time you re-start the game just in case you feel like a change. I particularly liked the way the bear flashes. What happened to the Weasel?\r\n\r\nFIDO 2\r\n\r\nFido 2 is probably better known under its other title of Puppy Power. The gameplay in this powerful follow up to the immensely successful Fido remains the same, ie to batter the moles with your tail, this version is a great deal harder though, as befits a sequel. Firstly, although the programmers have left the diminishing energy bar in, they have cunningly left the food bowl out so Fido starves to death. This game has more screens than before: rather than just a simple street scene we now have a cave and beach scene as well. What makes Fido 2 such a winner is the way Fido is chased by little thingies. If they catch him while he trying to batter a mole then he will die. The pursuing objects vary from screen to screen; in the first screen we have a purple bust of a chap with a very long nose, the other screens have flowering scotch thistles, ashtrays with smoking cigarettes, smashed up sandcastles and finally toy pistols. All of the backdrops have doors of some kind, but the amazing thing is that no matter what you do you won't be able to get through any of them. Should you find the game too hard the programmers have built in a feature which allows you to flick through the five screens and admire the graphics.\r\n\r\nFRUIT MACHINE\r\n\r\nEverybody knows how to play this so perhaps I should point out the features that can be used to advance your enjoyment of the game. Firstly there is a an accountant telling you how much money you have left out of your original pound. Every so often, about once in a thousand pulls, you can take advantage of the Nudge feature, the hold facility is offered a little more frequently. On winning you will be asked if you want to gamble, another screen puts this offer to reality and two numbers will flash, the first slightly higher than your initial win, the second will be nothing, that's what I call gambling. One problem with many fruit machine programs is the sheer speed at which everything happens, not with this game, this is nice and ever so slow, the player can sit back and be sure of missing nothing.\r\n\r\nCOMMENTS\r\n\r\nControl keys: Z/M left/right X to brake but it rather depends on the game\r\nJoystick: none on one; others allowed the Kempston but didn't say why\r\nKeyboard: ours had funny little rubber keys that squished up when you pressed them this tended to make rapid game play difficult but that didn't matter since rapid game play isn't required\r\nUse of colour: some of them had colour and those colours looked very... coloured\r\nGraphics: fairly uncomplicated some were actually very uncomplicated\r\nSound: I don't think there was any, apart from the odd bleep\r\nSkill levels: not so much skill as persistence\r\nLives: by and large, taken as a whole, there were too many\r\n\r\nN.B. Using the old CRASH system of having the overall figure as a strict average of the other marks, it looks much better that way. One other point I feel that 'should raise is that The Headitor tells me that because this package has five games all on one tape tradition demands that the percentages must be given in brackets. This seems a shame because readers might get the idea that this means they are minus points, but that would be silly as only accountants put negative numbers in brackets and boring accountants don't read CRASH anyway, do they? (Answers, on an postcard please, to J Spencer CRASH)","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"General Rating: I'm told it's great.","Page":"46,47","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[],"ScreenshotText":[{"Text":"Best Graphics of the Year award goes to WEASEL WILLY. The mushroom shaped things are actually trees and the square in the middle is Willy. Unfortunately the camera caught him just as he was flashing, otherwise you would see an elegant character..."},{"Text":"FIDO is a dog with an Impossible Mission, side swiping the naughty moles with that rigid tail of his."},{"Text":"If you're happy with the 'nudges', just break into BASIC and edit line number 880 and change the random number in the brackets to whatever you would rather have! If you reckon the machine hasn't given you a nudge for some time, just break in an GOTO 880 - CRASH, the mag that gives playing tips with your captions!"}],"BlurbText":[{"Text":"A QUICK WORD FIRST...\r\n\r\nWe've had some fun this month extracting the Michael from the Software Editor. Playing on his kind, easy going temperament we handed him a copy of Firebird's Don't Buy This and persuaded him that it was a collection of megabrill games. At first he seemed less than convinced so we produced a few review sheets extolling its virtues. Graeme finally clinched it by telling him that he hadn't learned to appreciate the more subtle aspects of some Spectrum games. Almost convinced, Spencer the Corpulent then phoned Firebird - so we all dashed upstairs to listen in on the extension...\r\n\r\n'We have a copy of your latest release here but it seems to have five games all on one tape, surely there must have been a mistake?'\r\n'No there's no mistake, at least not as far as those games are concerned.'\r\n'Why is it called Don't Buy This when it seems such great value?'\r\n'Who did you say you were?'\r\n'Jeremy Spencer from CRASH'\r\n'Are you serious?'\r\n'What? about being from CRASH?'\r\n'No, about the games.'\r\n'Well of course I am.'\r\n'Are you the new Software Editor? The guy that used to sell yellow wellingtons for horses, the ones you filled with water?'\r\n'Well... er... yes'\r\n'... and now you own an Amstrad and a lamb that answers to the name of Ernie?'\r\n'Yes'\r\n'... and a dog that chews empty wine bottles?'\r\n'well yes but what...'\r\n'... you are serious!'\r\n'Yes of course but why call the cassette \"Don't Buy This\"?'\r\n'It wasn't meant to be called Don't Buy This but the type-setters made a mistake.'\r\n'What was it meant to be called?'\r\n'Oh it's been called all sorts of things, lots and lots of different names but since we've had so many inlay cards printed it seemed to stick you see.'\r\n'Fair enough I suppose, perhaps you could give me the names of the authors? I can't find any credits.'\r\n'Too right, John... they said they wanted to be kept out of it, out of the limelight I mean, and for that matter perhaps you could keep Firebird's name out as well... please.'\r\n'Well that's very modest of you.'\r\n'All part of the image you know.' BBRRRRRRRRRRRR"}],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":[{"Header":"Use of Computer","Score":"6%","Text":""},{"Header":"Graphics","Score":"17%","Text":""},{"Header":"Playability","Score":"10%","Text":""},{"Header":"Getting Started","Score":"27%","Text":""},{"Header":"Addictive Qualities","Score":"76%","Text":""},{"Header":"Value For Money","Score":"700%","Text":""},{"Header":"Overall","Score":"39.333333%","Text":""}],"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"Your Spectrum Issue 17, Aug 1985","Price":"£0.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-07-18","Editor":"Kevin Cox","TotalPages":66,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"Editor: Kevin Cock-up\r\nArt Editor: Phoebe Evans\r\nDeputy Editor: Rocky Horror Shaw\r\nProduction Editor: Louise Cook\r\nArt Assistant: Martin Dixon\r\nEditorial Consultant: Andrew Pennell\r\nSoftware Consultant: Gavin Monk\r\nContributors: Stephen Adams, Dave Nicholls, Roger Willis, Ross Holman, Mike Leaman, Toni Baker, Dougie Bern, Chris Cockayne, Paul Woof, Iolo Davidson, Tony Samuels, Chris Wood\r\nAdvertisement Manager: David Baskerville\r\nProduction Manager: Sonia Hunt\r\nGroup Advertisement Manager: Chris Talbot\r\nManaging Editor: Roger Munford\r\nArt Director: Jimmy Egerton\r\nAdvertisement Executive: Chris Robur\r\nPublisher: Stephen England\r\n\r\nPublished by Sportscene Specialist Press Ltd, [redacted] Company registered in England. Telephone (all departments): [redacted]\r\nTypesetters: Carlinpoint [redacted]\r\nReproduction: Graphic Ideas, London\r\nPrinters: Chase Web Offset [redacted]\r\nDistribution: Seymour Press [redacted]\r\n\r\nAll material in Your Spectrum ©1985 Felden productions, and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the written consent of the publishers. Your Spectrum is a monthly publication."},"MainText":"DON'T BUY THIS\r\nFirebird Software\r\n£2.50\r\n\r\nDave: The games included on this tape are apparently the worst games submitted to Firebird for publication. Two of them star a puppy called Fido who has to flatten moles with his tail while avoiding birds flying overhead - both games are original and well worth a couple of minutes' attention. Race Ace is another 'also-ran', featuring a character-sized car moving around a single-screen plan view race track - there are two speeds: tediously slow or ridiculously fast! Moving on, there's Weasel Willy and a Fruit Machine.\r\n\r\nAnd that's really what you want to do when you're checking out this one ... 'move on'. The games aren't that bad as do-it-yourself games but, they won't provide that much fun. Take a good look at the words printed on the outside of the package before you buy... the title of the package really does say it all.","ReviewerComments":["Treat the title of this game like a Government Health Warning ... except this time, take notice of it! Believe me, the Spectrum loading pattern is much more exciting than the game.\r\nRoss Holman\r\n1/5 MISS","Well, I for one will certainly buy it. They may not be great games, but they're fun ... and that must count for quite a lot! At least you know what you're getting!\r\nRoger Willis\r\n2/5 MISS"],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"42","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[{"Name":"Dave Nicholls","Score":"1","ScoreSuffix":"/5 MISS"},{"Name":"Ross Holman","Score":"1","ScoreSuffix":"/5 MISS"},{"Name":"Roger Willis","Score":"2","ScoreSuffix":"/5 MISS"}],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":null,"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"Sinclair User Issue 40, Jul 1985","Price":"£0.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-06-18","Editor":"Bill Scolding","TotalPages":116,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"EDITORIAL\r\nEditor: Bill Scolding\r\nDeputy Editor: John Gilbert\r\nStaff Writer: Chris Bourne, Clare Edgeley\r\nDesigner: Craig Kennedy\r\nEditorial Secretary: Norisah Fenn\r\nPublisher: Neil Wood\r\n\r\nADVERTISING\r\nAdvertising Manager: Rob Cameron\r\nDeputy Advertisement Manager: Louise Fanthorpe\r\nAdvertisement Sales Executive: Kathy McLennan\r\nProduction Assistant: Jim McClure\r\nAdvertisement Secretary: Linda Everest\r\n\r\nMAGAZINE SERVICES\r\nSubscriptions Manager: Carl Dunne\r\n\r\nTELEPHONE\r\nAll departments [redacted]\r\n\r\nSinclair User is published monthly by EMAP Business & Computer Publications\r\n\r\nIf you would like to contribute to Sinclair User please send programs or articles to:\r\nSinclair User\r\nEMAP Business & Computer Publications\r\n[redacted]\r\n\r\nOriginal programs should be on cassette and articles should be typed. We cannot undertake to return them unless a stamped-addressed envelope is included.\r\n\r\nWe pay £20 for each program printed and £50 for star programs.\r\n\r\nTypeset by Saffron Graphics Ltd, [redacted]\r\nPrinted by Peterboro' Web, [redacted]\r\nDistributed by EMAP Publications Ltd.\r\n\r\n©Copyright 1985 Sinclair User ISSN No 0262-5458\r\n\r\n91,901 Jun-Dec 1984"},"MainText":"Publisher: Firebird\r\nPrice: £2.50\r\nMemory: 48K\r\nJoystick: Kempston\r\n\r\nWarning. This cassette contains five of the most uninspired games ever to disgrace the Spectrum.\r\n\r\nIn Fido I and Fido if you play Fido the mole bashing pup. When a mole incautiously lifts its head above ground, Fido rushes over, sits down and thumps it with its tail.\r\n\r\nWeasel Willy refused to load. The cassette inlay states that 'playing the game is easier than setting the keys'.\r\n\r\nRace Ace is the antithesis of any race game ever. It is alternatively too slow and too fast, and to increase playability the control keys are backwards - 'left is left when the kart goes up but right when the kart comes down...'\r\n\r\nYou are advised to play Fruit Machine at around four in the morning when you are asleep.\r\n\r\nFirebird disclaims all responsibility for the game and states that the product 'may be copied, lent, hired or transmitted at will.' it also advises action if the programming is faulty - put sticky tape over the lug holes and use it as a blank cassette.","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"26","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[{"Name":"Clare Edgeley","Score":"2","ScoreSuffix":"/5"}],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":[{"Header":"Overall","Score":"2/5","Text":""}],"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"C&VG (Computer & Video Games) Issue 45, Jul 1985","Price":"£0.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-06-16","Editor":"Tim Metcalfe","TotalPages":116,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"Editor: Tim Metcalfe\r\nDeputy Editor: Paul Boughton\r\nEditorial Assistant: Lesley Walker\r\nStaff Writer: Seamus St. John\r\nDesigners: Brian Cookman, Sylvia Wells\r\nProduction Editor: Mary Morton\r\nAdventure Writer: Keith Campbell\r\nAmerican Correspondent: Marshall M. Rosenthal\r\nPublicity: Marcus Rich\r\nArcades: Clare Edgeley\r\nReader Services: Marcus Jeffery\r\nAdvertisement Manager: Louise Matthews\r\nAssistant Advertisement Manager: Bernard Dugdale\r\nAdvertising Executive: Sean Brennan\r\nProduction Assistant: Melanie Paulo\r\nPublisher: Rita Lewis\r\n\r\nEditorial and Advertisement Offices: [redacted]\r\n\r\nCOMPUTER AND VIDEO GAMES POSTAL SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE. By using the special Postal Subscription Service, copies of COMPUTER AND VIDEO GAMES can be mailed direct from our offices each month to any address throughout the world. All subscription applications should be sent for processing to COMPUTER AND VIDEO GAMES (Subscription Department), [redacted]. All orders should include the appropriate remittance made payable to COMPUTER AND VIDEO GAMES. Annual subscription rates (12 issues): UK and Eire: £15. Additional service information including individual overseas airmail rates available upon request. Circulation Department: EMAP National Publications. Published and distributed by EMAP National Publications Ltd.\r\n\r\nPrinted by Severn Valley Press. Typeset by In-Step Ltd.\r\n\r\nCover: Courtesy of Domark"},"MainText":"MACHINE: Spectrum\r\nSUPPLIER: Firebird\r\nPRICE: £2.50\r\n\r\nDon't Buy This claims to be a collection of the five worst games ever. We believe it.\r\n\r\nFirebird proudly boasts: \"This is the beginning of the end of games as we know them.\"\r\n\r\nGame titles are Race Ace, Fido 1, Weasel Willy, Fido 2 and Fruit Machine.\r\n\r\nIt's hard to rate games that are publicised as being bad. But they are good for a laugh. Perhaps it's the start of a new cult.\r\n\r\nAs Firebird warns \"Approach this tape with caution.\"","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"94","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[{"Text":"THE PRICE IS RIGHT\r\n\r\nBuying computer games can be an expensive business. Some can cost anything up to £14.\r\n\r\nTo buy all the latest titles as they come onto the market would cost a small fortune. And that's beyond the pocket of most people.\r\n\r\nSo it's no wonder that software companies have started producing a range of games costing no more than a couple of pounds.\r\n\r\nUnfortunately, besides being cheap, some were very nasty and a waste of money. It seemed far better to save up and buy a top price game.\r\n\r\nBut such is the potential of the market that the quality of the games has improved while the prices have been kept low.\r\n\r\nSo Computer & Video Games thought it would be worthwhile to take a look at some of the current budget games on the market from software houses.\r\n\r\nFirebird, British Telecom's software company, is now in the process of updating its Silver catalogue which was launched in October 1984 with great success, with all the games selling for £2.50.\r\n\r\nStar of the original 20 titles was undoubtedly Booty on the Spectrum 48k and Commodore 64 which, claims Firebird, has sales now in excess of 100,000. It's now being converted to the Amstrad and should be available by late summer.\r\n\r\nIn Booty, Jim the cabin boy faces death by drowning or at the hands of the Ghost Pirate as he searches through the hold of the Black Galleon in search of treasure.\r\n\r\nAnother favourite is Gogo the Ghost on the Commodore 64 which has, believe it or not, 150 frames of haunted happenings.\r\n\r\nNew games shortly to be introduced into the Silver range are Microcosm for the BBC B, Subsunk for the Commodore 64 and Don't Panic for the 16k and 48k Spectrum.\r\n\r\nMastertronic, formed in April 1984, now claims to be the brand leader in budget games - its extensive range sells for just £1.99 each.\r\n\r\nIn its first 12 months of trading, Mastertronic says it has audited figures of sales for two million games.\r\n\r\nNew developments for 1985 in the £1.99 range include two semi-educational games in its Mistertronic titles - Make Music with Mistertronic and Type Rope - aimed at the six to 11 age range.\r\n\r\nEarlier this year, Atlantis Software launched three games under its new Atlantis Gold label, selling at £2.99 each.\r\n\r\nThey were the Dungeons and Dragons-style Adventure Velnor's Lair for the Commodore 64 and Nicotine Nightmare and Self Destruct, both on the Spectrum 48k.\r\n\r\nThe last two have proved so popular that Atlantis is in the process of converting them for the Amstrad - a move which again points to the growing popularity of the machine.\r\n\r\nMike Cole, of Atlantis, says: \"We believe in the Amstrad as the next thing to come. It's a lovely machine. We will be supporting it.\"\r\n\r\nBeing launched this spring is The Sparkler range of games from Creative Sparks at £2.50.\r\n\r\nSandy Mackenzie, of Creative Sparks, says: \"There is a a need to supply good quality software at prices affordable to kids\".\r\n\r\nThe company's decision to produce cheap software was prompted to a great extent by the large number of excellent games sent in by amateur writers.\r\n\r\n\"By promoting games in the budget range,\" says Sandy, \"we are opening the industry to new talent, and also serving the interest of games buyers by publishing good games at reasonable prices. After all, low prices doesn't have to mean low quality.\"\r\n\r\nSoit seems that pocket-money power is being recognised at last and computer star wars could soon become computer price wars.\r\n\r\nAbout time, too!"}],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":null,"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"Sinclair Programs Issue 34, Aug 1985","Price":"£0.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-07-18","Editor":"Rebecca Ferguson","TotalPages":60,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"Editor: Rebecca Ferguson\r\nStaff Writer: Colette McDermott\r\nDesign/Illustration: Elaine Bishop\r\nAdvertisement Manager: Shahid Nizam\r\nProduction Co-ordinator: Serena Hadley\r\nAdvertisement Secretary: Maria Keighley\r\nSubscription Manager: Carl Dunne\r\nPublisher: Neil Wood\r\n\r\nSinclair Programs is published monthly by EMAP Business and Computer Publications.\r\n\r\nTelephone [redacted]\r\n\r\nIf you would like your original programs to be published in Sinclair Programs, please send your contributions, which must not have appeared elsewhere, to:\r\nSinclair Programs\r\nEEC Publications\r\n[redacted]\r\n\r\nPrograms should be on cassette. We cannot undertake to return them unless a stamped-addressed envelope is included. We pay £25 for the copyright of listings published and £10 for the copyright of listings published in the Beginners' section.\r\n\r\n©Copyright 1985 Sinclair Programs\r\nISSN No. 0263-0265\r\n\r\nPrinted and typeset by: Cradley Print PLC, [redacted]\r\n\r\nDistributed by EMAP National Publications Ltd.\r\n\r\nAll subscription enquiries:\r\nMagazine Services,\r\nEMAP Business and Computer Publications\r\n[redacted]"},"MainText":"PRICE: Too much\r\n\r\nHow do you review a game which explicitly tells you: Don't Buy This? Not only that, it tells you that these are meant to be five of the worst games ever.\r\n\r\nFruit machine can safely claim to be one of the slowest versions of a fruit machine ever produced. Race Ace, offered 250 speeds to the budding racing driver, each of which managed to be either too fast or too slow. Still, what do you expect from eight screens of Basic?\r\n\r\nWeasel Willy may be good, but we cannot comment, because it would not load. The loading screen was fairly rough, though, if that is any help. The gems of the piece are Fido One and Two in which, against a variety of backgrounds, a dog has to sit and smash moles to death with its tail.\r\n\r\nSurely games for the Spectrum have not been of a high standard for long enough for the industry to start being smart-alec on the subject? These games were fairly amusing for five minutes on a review copy. Whatever you do, do not buy them.\r\n\r\nDon't Buy This is produced for the 48K Spectrum by Firebird Software, [redacted].","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"17","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[{"Name":"Colette McDermott","Score":"9","ScoreSuffix":"%"}],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":[{"Header":"Rating","Score":"9%","Text":""}],"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"ZX Computing Issue 20, Aug 1985","Price":"£1.95","ReleaseDate":"1985-07-25","Editor":"Ray Elder","TotalPages":124,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"Editor: Ray Elder\r\nEditorial Assistant: Cliff Joseph\r\nGroup Editor: Wendy J Palmer\r\nSoftware Assistant: John Gerard Donovan\r\nSales Executive: Alice Robertson\r\nAdvertisement Manager: Barry Bingham\r\nDivisional Advertising Manager: Chris Northam\r\nCopy Controller: Sue Couchman\r\nPublishing Director: Peter Welham\r\nChief Executive: T J Connell\r\n\r\nOrigination and design by MM Design & Print, [redacted]\r\nPublished by Argus Specialist Publications Ltd, [redacted]\r\n\r\nZX Computing is published bi-monthly on the fourth Friday of the month. Distributed by: Argus Press Sales & Distribution Ltd. [redacted]. Printed by: Garnett Print, Rotherham and London.\r\n\r\nThe contents of this publication including all articles, designs, plans, drawings and programs and all copyright and other intellectual property rights therein belong to Argus Specialist Publications Limited. All rights conferred by the Law of Copyright and other intellectual property rights and by virtue of international copyright conventions are specifically reserved to Argus Specialist Publications Limited and any reproduction requires the prior written consent of Argus Specialist Publications Ltd.\r\n\r\n©Argus Specialist Publications Limited 1985"},"MainText":"From the sublime to the ridiculous, DON'T BUY THIS is a collection of some of the worst games sent to Firebird. Definitely not recommended unless you want to see how NOT to write program! All in all, apart from this last one, the Firebird range provides good value and a wide selection - I wish I'd bought shares in BT.","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"74","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":null,"CompilationReviewScores":[]}]}]