[{"TitleName":"Pasteman Pat","Publisher":"Silverbird Software Ltd","Author":"","YearOfRelease":"1989","ZxDbId":"0000525","Reviews":[{"Issue":{"Name":"Crash Issue 63, Apr 1989","Price":"£1.6","ReleaseDate":"1989-03-30","Editor":"Stuart Wynne","TotalPages":92,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"EDITORIAL\r\n[redacted]\r\n\r\nEditor: Stuart Wynne\r\nAssistant Editor: Phil King\r\nStaff Writers: Mark Caswell, Lloyd Mangram, Nick Roberts\r\nContributors: Ian Cull, Mike 'Skippy' Dunn, Richard 'smasherooni' Eddie, Paul Evans, Ian Lacey, Barnaby Page\r\nEditorial Assistants: Caroline Blake, Vivienne Vickress\r\n\r\nPRODUCTION\r\n[redacted]\r\n\r\nSenior Designer: Wayne Allen\r\nDesigners: Melvin Fisher, Yvonne Priest\r\nPhotography: Cameron Pound, Michael Parkinson\r\nProduction Manager: Jonathan Rignall\r\nReprographics Supervisor: Matthew Uffindell\r\nProduction Team: Robert Hamilton, Robert Millichamp, Tim Morris\r\n\r\nEditorial Director: Oliver Frey\r\nPublisher: Geoff Grimes\r\nAdvertisement Director: Roger Bennett\r\nAdvertisement Manager: Neil Dyson\r\nSales Executives: Sarah Chapman, Lee Watkins\r\nAssistants: Jackie Morris [redacted]\r\n\r\nMail Order: Carol Kinsey\r\nSubscriptions: Denise Roberts\r\n[redacted]\r\n\r\nTypeset by The Tortoise Shell Press, Ludlow. Colour origination by Scan Studios [redacted]. Printed in England by Carlisle Web Offset, [redacted] - member of the BPCC Group. Distribution by COMAG, [redacted]\r\n\r\nCOMPETITION RULES\r\nThe Editor's decision is final in all matters relating to adjudication and while we offer prizes in good faith, believing them to be available, if something untoward happens (like a game that has been offered as a prize being scrapped) we reserve the right to substitute prizes of comparable value. We'll do our very best to despatch prizes as soon as possible after the published closing date. Winners names will appear in a later issue of CRASH. No correspondence can be entered into regarding the competitions (unless we've written to you stating that you have won a prize and it doesn't turn up, in which case drop the Sticky Solutions Department a line at the [redacted] address). No person who has any relationship, no matter how remote, to anyone who works for either Newsfield or any of the companies offering prizes, may enter one of our competitions. No material may be reproduced whole or in part without the written consent of the copyright holders. We cannot undertake to return anything sent into CRASH including written and photographic material, software and hardware - unless it is accompanied by a suitably stamped addressed envelope. Unsolicited written or photo material is welcome, and if used in the magazine is paid for at our current rates.\r\n\r\n©CRASH Ltd, 1989\r\n\r\nISSN 0954-8661\r\n\r\nCover Design & Illustration by Oliver Frey"},"MainText":"BUDGET BUREAU\r\n\r\n£1.99\r\n\r\nA mixed bunch of new budget games arrived from Silverbird this month, of which the most original is Pasteman Pat (65%). In this devious picture puzzle game, Pat Splatt has to use his paste brush to assemble a large wall poster from the squares which Nasty Norville has jumbled up (they resemble an SU poster!). It sounds easy enough, but on the most difficult levels you're likely to get a headache sorting dozens of small squares, while inaccurate brushwork by the hero causes frustration. Add to this the extra problems caused by a time limit and the objects thrown by Norville's henchmen (they knock Pat off his ladder!) and you have one challenging game. But if you're a wallpapering fan, this is your game.\r\n\r\nAlso splashing down from Silverbird is Turbo Boat Simulator (32%), a nautical (but not very nice) shoot-'em-up. Lost in enemy territory, your boat patrols horizontally-scrolling waterways, searching for map parts dropped by allied planes (why can't the pillocks drop a whole map?!). Play simply involves avoiding and shooting enemy submarines and missiles until you find all the map pieces to send you to the next level. Grotty monochromatic graphics don't give much incentive to play on in a game about as exciting as squashed hedgehog racing. Its best feature is definitely the 128K title tune.\r\n\r\nSkateboard Joust (30%) is another disappointing Silverbird effort, featuring very primitive graphics and minimal sound. Gameplay is reminiscent of the ancient jousting game, Ostron. But here you have a hovering skateboard and must destroy opponents by jumping up to let your board fly into them! The trendy sport of skateboarding has been over-used of late, and this off-beat implementation provides little excitement. Even Nick 'rad lad' Roberts quickly lost interest (but not his cool).\r\n\r\nJust as dull is Players' unoriginal beat-'em-up, Street Gang (24%). Strolling through eight New York streets, you are attacked by all manner of punks and thugs, some of them wielding machine guns. The bad news is that despite the presence of many foes, progress is surprisingly easy. This is especially so when you discover that by continuously jumping to the right, completion of all eight levels is a mere formality. This amazing feature helps to make Street Gang about as eventful as a monks' wife-swapping party.\r\n\r\n£2.99\r\n\r\n'Who dares wins' is Code Masters' favourite motto. After all, they've dared to sell some pretty dire software at times, yet made a fortune in the process. True to their adventurous spirit, they've come up with SAS Combat Simulator (71%) (neat title, lads!). The good news is that this is one of their better releases. Most of the action is depicted by some decent overhead-view graphics, with your little soldier shooting and grenading swarming enemies. Starting on foot, he can find an armoured jeep and a tank to drive while he blasts or runs over enemy soldiers, and blows even trains to smithereens. After reaching the end of a stage, play switches to a side-view hand-to-hand combat section, with yet more soldiers for the violent hero to punch. Unfortunately this section is both repetitive and irritating as near-perfect timing is needed to dispatch countless foes. Even so, SAS Combat Simulator is a challenging shoot-'em-up with plenty of content.\r\n\r\nBut there are some places even the SAS would fear to tread. The murky depths of the Atlantic are home for many a deadly shark, and also the setting for Titanic (45%) from Kixx. To reach the famous shipwreck, your diver must negotiate a network of underwater caves infested with a variety of vicious sea creatures. Annoyingly, running out of oxygen sends the diver right back to the start, although I can't understand how he'd survive anyway - the water pressure at such depths would be enough to squash him flat! Nevertheless, survive he does to witness primitive graphics and gameplay inferior to Durell's ancient Scuba Dive. Cartographers will no doubt enjoy exploring and mapping the large cave system, but I found the whole exercise rather dull.\r\n\r\nSet in the equally dangerous world of the Roman Empire, Kixx's Colosseum (70%) is all about chariot racing. But this isn't exactly a sport to take up for health reasons. The drivers are equipped with weapons, and the winner is the sole survivor at the end of the race! As Benurio, wrongly-accused of treason (you were on holiday at the time), you must prove your innocence by winning a chariot race (this is almost as strange as British justice!). Racing round the oval track, obstacles must be avoided, while you hack away at other drivers with your axe. If a driver is killed, you take his weapon even if it is less powerful than your present one. The action is fast and furious, albeit very repetitive. Although the sprites are simple, the track is fast-scrolling, and the perspective for the bends is ingenious: the viewpoint follows the chariot round. Despite a very simple concept, Colosseum is surprisingly addictive.\r\n\r\nBut it's back to the future for The Hit Squad (70%) from Code Masters. In post-apocalypse 2125, evil Emilio Bocker rules the city of Los Angeles with an iron grip. Something must be done, so you decide to search the city for Booker's hidden lair. But who are you? Well, when the game starts you can choose to be one of four different streetfighters, such as stealthy Stak and 'sexy Xena'! Exploring twelve parts of the city simply involves jumping around platforms, shooting nasties while searching for teleport and weapon disks. But the action is well-portrayed by large, Colourful graphics, while the digitised title picture of the four fighters is particularly impressive.\r\n\r\nAnother playable Code Masters release is Fast Food (68%). Despite the strange moniker, this is actually a souped-up version of Pac-Man! The hero, however, resembles that old egghead, Dizzy. Hamburgers chase the oval hero around many mazes, while he tries to eat all the other food. Special abilities may be obtained, including burger-eating, by collecting various objects. What really disappoints is the pedestrian pace at which the action takes place. But amusing, animated screens every three levels provide an incentive to keep playing. The neat presentation is improved further on 128K machines by the inclusion of a neat in-game tune.\r\n\r\nHowever, even decent presentation would do little to improve Cult's dire Soccer Star (28%). This football management game is about as unrealistic as you can get. Firstly, there are only eight teams per division. But worse still, you are only allowed to buy and sell players at the beginning of the season: so if your team is rubbish, you're stuck with it! Match presentation is equally poor, consisting mainly of a ball wobbling along a line - this is meant to represent 'the balance of the match'! The goalmouth action is slightly better but is hardly exciting. With such limited options and poor presentation, Soccer Star is a sure candidate for relegation.","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"","Page":"82,83","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":[{"Header":"Overall","Score":"65%","Text":""}],"CompilationReviewScores":[]},{"Issue":{"Name":"Sinclair User Issue 87, Jun 1989","Price":"£1.6","ReleaseDate":"1989-05-18","Editor":"Jim Douglas","TotalPages":100,"HasCoverTape":false,"FlannelPanel":"It's the SU All Stars! Yaaaaaaay!\r\n\r\nJIM \"The Natural\" DOUGLAS (Editor)\r\nA born superstar. Playing for the Boston Redsox team in the 1947 world series Jim received a near fatal injury at the hands of a jealous female fan. While details are a little fuzzy, it's known that Jim spent twelve years in traction and psychotherapy after the incident. Now a coach with many youth teams across the States, he makes regular appearances in game shows and sports quiz programmes in the US. He has been paralleled with Emelyn Hughes Once\r\n\r\nALISON \"Tin-legs\" SKEAT (Production Editor)\r\nIn shock developments this month, motorcycle stunt racer Skeat was both involved in a horrific accident during a display and a ghastly mix-up in the resulting hospital visit. After weeks of plastic surgery it became clear that something was wrong with the very nature of Alison's appearance. Is there any hope left? Er, no.\r\n\r\nTIM \"Slugger\" NOONAN (Art Editor)\r\nFrom the wrong side of the tracks, the boy with the Golden Gloves came to prominence in the late 50's. Noonan made a name for himself throughout the boxing world as one of the worst fighters ever to be allowed in the ring. While finding much public support, Noonan unfortunately received such a pasting in his much publicised light with Clubber Paris, he was forced to retire from boxing for good and took up a position running an occupational therapy daytime care centre for the slightly bewildered. His first book of poetry is die to be reprinted next month.\r\n\r\nCHRIS \"Black Avenger\" JENKINS (Contributor)\r\nJenkins was trained by Shaolin monks after being discovered in a pile of noodles at the back of a Chinese take-away in Gerrard St. Now he runs his own martial arts centre in the mountains of South Wales. Described by himself as \"the most dangerous man alive\", he can break a plank of wood with a sledgehammer, can withstand hours of slight chilliness and can run as fast as someone else who can't run very fast. Truly, a force not to meddle with.\r\n\r\nSpecial thanks this month: Tony 'Oh yes...' Dillon, Jerry Paris, Graham 'What?' Taylor.\r\n\r\nAdventure: The Sorceress\r\nDirty Tricks: Jon Riglar\r\nTechnical: Andrew Hewson, Rupert Goodwins\r\nAdvertisement Manager: Katherine Lee\r\nAdvertisement Executive: Martha Moloughney\r\nAd Production: Emma Ward\r\nPublisher's Assistant: Debbie Pearson\r\nPublisher: Terry 'Power Haircut' Pratt\r\nMarketing: Clive 'Lovely' Pembridge\r\n\r\nWhere we're at: [redacted]\r\n\r\nThis Month's Cover: Jerry Paris\r\n\r\nPrinted by Nene River Press, [redacted]\r\nTypeset by Professional Reprographics Services [redacted]\r\nDistributed by EMAP Frontline.\r\n\r\nSubscription Enquiries: [redacted]\r\n24 Hour Order Line: [redacted]\r\nBack Issues: Back Issues Department (SU), [redacted]\r\n\r\n©Copyright 1989 Sinclair User ISSN No 0262-5458\r\n\r\nNo part of this magazine may be ripped off, or you're in deep trouble matey."},"MainText":"Label: Silverbird\r\nAuthor: In-house\r\nPrice: £1.99\r\nMemory: 48K/128K\r\nJoystick: various\r\nReviewer: Tony Dillon\r\n\r\nPat Plop is the best billboard poster in 'Groovetown' (!?!). After a hard day's work, Pat has gone back to inspect the fruits of his labours, to find that a rival posterer has rearranged all his posters. Oh no, how dreadful! Luckily, Pat's paste never dries (!?!?!) and so restoring the posters to their former glory is simply a case of taking a horsehair brush and sliding them back into place. And that's the game.\r\n\r\nIt's based, very loosely, around the concept of the funny little sliding puzzles you used to get free from McDonalds if ever you held a birthday party there (at very reasonable cost too). You had a closed rectangle, inside which were a number of square sliding blocks, each with a portion of a picture on them. One block would be missing, which would leave enough room for you to slide a row or a column one space. It was by this method of sliding that you eventually rearranged the blocks and built up the picture.\r\n\r\nIn PP, rather than remove a block, the game goes beyond the realms of possibility and brings in a wraparound feature. For the uneducated this means that if in the course of sliding, a block comes off the bottom of the screen, it comes on again at the top. This doesn't make the game any easier, just a little different.\r\n\r\nThe first of the 16 levels is easy to do. After all, it's only split into four pieces. By the end level, however, the poster has successfully managed to split itself into 64 pieces, with only half of those on screen at a time.\r\n\r\nControls are simple. You view Pat from behind, as he sits atop his ladder which, by some marvellous feat of new technology, allows him to scroll around the billboard in eight directions. This he has to do for two reasons. One so that he can get to all the parts of the board and the second is so that he can avoid all the missiles (boots, bricks, etc) being thrown at him by the selfsame billboard poster that messed them up in the first place. Scrolling the sections of the poster is via pressing the fire button to activate Pat's brush arm, and then pressing a direction to make him use it.\r\n\r\nIf you want to know how well you're doing, you can call up a picture of how the poster should look when it's finished, and then compare it to how much you've done. This is done by, believe it or not, going to the lavvy. No, not by wazzing on the wall, as I'm sure some of you out there originally thought, but by having a look at the plans whilst sitting on the big white telephone.\r\n\r\nGraphics are OKish. The scroll works quite well, but apart from that, there's not a lot else. Well, what can you say about a puzzle game?\r\n\r\nBasically, a bit dull. Perhaps puzzle games are meant to be dull, though I doubt it. Even if they are, why bother writing one for a computer?","ReviewerComments":[],"OverallSummary":"Fairly good. By any other standards, it's pretty dull.","Page":"24","Denied":false,"Award":"Not Awarded","Reviewers":[{"Name":"Tony Dillon","Score":"65","ScoreSuffix":"%"}],"ScreenshotText":[],"BlurbText":[],"TranscriptBy":"Chris Bourne","ReviewScores":[{"Header":"Graphics","Score":"71%","Text":""},{"Header":"Sound","Score":"55%","Text":""},{"Header":"Playability","Score":"73%","Text":""},{"Header":"Lastability","Score":"51%","Text":""},{"Header":"Overall","Score":"65%","Text":""}],"CompilationReviewScores":[]}]}]